We are starting to enter into a new normal. Restrictions are lifted and we are beginning to decrease social distance yet we must continue to care for those at risk. Until accurate testing is available, herd immunity is achieved, self-awareness and communication is our best tool. COVID CARE is a model in which we can … Continue reading COVID CARE: A better way to take care of one another as we start opening up society.
This probably falls under TMI but doing so keeps me accountable and honest. Besides I'm the Queen Bee of TMI. This may be a strange decision from someone who leads a Sex Positive community, but I am on a sex sabbatical. An intention sex fast. (Some may call it "celibacy", but that feels really extreme … Continue reading Rewriting a Story
May is National Masturbation month. I know this is a strange association but masturbation brings me back to my first sex-positive role model, Judy Blume. Judy Blume is an American author who wrote honest, realistic books of what it is like to be an adolescent. Her books, written in the 1970’s, captures the awkwardness of … Continue reading Masturbation Month!
On March 12, 2018, The New York Times published an article How Does Submissive Sex Work in the Age of #metoo. On February 25, 2018 they published one on Navigating Sex in a Gray Zone to ask for submissions on consent in young adults. In December, 2017, The New Yorker published a short story Cat … Continue reading How Does Sex Work in the Age of #MeToo
This was a typical date. Meeting, flirting, texting, then the anticipated date night. Have drink, dinner, small talk, then back to a private place for intimate encounter. We never discuss what each wants, desires, expects and needs. We enter the realm of dating with an unsaid expectation of sex and connection, in varying degrees. We … Continue reading Aziz Ansari and Dating 101: Make Time For The Talk
I picked up an old journal of mine from 2002. I was in the midst of suffering the loss of a friendship that validated me as “mainstream”. This woman was a popular, well loved, easy going (“Golden”) doctor. She was married to her first boyfriend and they were a model Christian couple. And she liked … Continue reading Not mainstream
I was recently called “single”. Because now that I am no longer married, I am not someone else’s “other half”. I am no longer a pair. Like shoes. I am a single sock. Lost in the dryer. I am unmarried and “not in a stable sexual relationship”. (You don’t want to get me started on … Continue reading Solo
We live in a culture where shame surrounds sexuality. Many people are unaware of their sexual desires, fears, boundaries and intentions when it comes to relationships. Honest sex positive communication can lead to better relationships, increased joy and improved health. STARS is a format that helps aid these discussions with self-awareness, accountability and communication. STARS … Continue reading STARS Safer Sex Talk for Everyone
Herpes Simplex Virus (HSV) is one of the most feared and least understood sexually transmitted infections (STIs). The infection itself is uncomfortable, but manageable. The real problem with HSV, however, is the shame that surrounds it. The social stigma associated with HSV causes more harm than the infection itself. The fear of being rejected, and … Continue reading Herpes Simplex Virus without Shame
Sometimes I have a hard time explaining how patients heal me. How being present is a gift not only for them but for me as well. There is one very special person who I’ve worked with for the last 10 years. I will call her DB. I met her first when her sister-in-law was dying … Continue reading The Sorrow and Joy of Medicine